HMV is Back, But Not Better
HMV, the beloved entertainment retail store that closed in 2017, made its underwhelming Canadian comeback inside select Toys “R” Us locations. An odd pairing that doesn’t joyfully scream, “Wine and cheese!”. Sam the Record Man and Music World would never. But whatever. My love for physical media overcame my fear of visiting a children’s retail playground. I wanted to be impressed, to feel nostalgic, and to make a memorable purchase. Unfortunately, it was easy to enter and exit.
This Karen lost her mind over the lack of categorization, despite organization, for all shelves of physical media. The alphabetization was worse than a remix no one asked for. Do we go by first or last name? What about genre? Do we care anymore if we can search on Spotify? I found several Kanye West albums under “K” because none of us actually refer to him as “Ye”. While one of Ed Sheeran’s albums was nowhere near “E” or “S”, multiple copies of one album by The Beatles were slotted throughout the alphabet. Most likely not found under “B”, but I did not bother to check.
I scanned shelves of films and TV series box sets: Cheers, Frasier, Friends, Superstore, Shameless, and… I gave up. These are all great shows available on streaming or syndication. I spotted a DVD of Homeward Bound, a film that traumatized many Millennials. Is this furry trio responsible for a generation’s love of pets over people? I believe so. There was a 5-in-1 Home Alone DVD Collection, but we all know only the first two films are worth watching.
I guess I saved money (at least in this store) because the lack of price tags greatly discouraged me from contemplating a purchase of any kind. I texted my friend about not knowing the cost of anything, and they joked that everything must be free! If only!
Another noticeable irritant included my inability to recognize any Funko Pop! characters, although a specific collector could easily spot their must-have in the neat section. There were stacks of t-shirts with bands that may attract the two Gen X men flipping through vinyl, and two Britney tees for those of us who are relieved she’s finally free. Clearly, K-pop special edition box sets are deemed less valuable than other artists with albums locked up in a display case that could easily be broken into if one wanted to go to jail instead of the office. Same difference.
But let’s be real, we all know why the HMV section of Toys “R” Us lacks polish. What young Millennial or Gen Z wants to spend on CDs, DVDs, vinyl, and Blu-Ray when they’re listening to everything on Spotify, Apple Music, and TikTok for free or an easy fee? This Millennial will now sit down, shut up, and connect her Airpods.
Update: April 2024
It would only make sense to give HMV a second chance, two months later, and at a different Toys “R” Us.
Immediately, the store reeked, making hardware stores smell like spring. Every Canadian recognizes the strong, chemical scent of their local Canadian Tire, but this Toys “R” Us really topped that particular toxicity. I definitely felt for the staff inhaling the heaviness in the air every second of their shift.
Physical media were in better condition, shelved alphabetically, with most of them labelled with price tags. Still, some things were a tad out of place, and no doubt the staff haven’t the time or energy to do it all in a store that is mainly stocked with toys. If a customer is looking for something in particular, they’ll have to make the effort to sift through it all. Hope there’s a price tag!
